Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Alive.
So much puke
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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