i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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