I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
