I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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