what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
