loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
