im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize