The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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