Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
