he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
