my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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