who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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