she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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