nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
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