Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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