Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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