I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
