i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
