Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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