so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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