is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
