No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
