I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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