Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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