I'm really into asian looking animals
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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