did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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