thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
