Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Who died my cat blue again?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
