it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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