weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I cannot find my penis.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
