while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
