he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
