It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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