I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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