is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
