I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
