I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Text me some of your sweat
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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