i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
