haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Holy sore nipples Batman
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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