Porn is love you can see.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
