i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
