Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
where am i from again
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize