Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Help. Why am I so naked?
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