Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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