It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
