i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
