I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Randomize
