i dont even know how to be here
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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