I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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