when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
