ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
