so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Green mimosas i think yes
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
