I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
