Dual....:-)
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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