Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
