you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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