Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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