all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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