so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
