I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize