I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I touched a dick in church today
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
