maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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