You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
