I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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