maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
