Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I had to cum in my sink.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
