hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
