And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
