I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize