If you die in college, do you die in real life?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
MIDGETS
????
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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