I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
